yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
A+ Viking dick
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
