Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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