Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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