i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
