is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
