You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
