This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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