I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
