if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
