sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
