Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
