I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
