just come out here and I will go home with you...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
