I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
