I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
