Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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