hotel room ftw
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
