Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
