There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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