She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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