Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
