I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
