is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
