You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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