they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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