Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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