Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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