We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
