okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
