she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
