You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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