SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Small penises have feelings too.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
