Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
