I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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