already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
