I met the friendliest cop last night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he laminated a picture of his dick.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
