Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
