god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
A+ Viking dick
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
