CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
