another moral hangover. fuck.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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