I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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