No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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