My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
