Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She told me I should be a condom model.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
