Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
They should really pass out barf bags in church
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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