My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
