these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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