oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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