How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
