I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
