I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
