No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
