I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
